“Lupus warriors don’t pretend to be sick – they often pretend to be okay.”
If you or a loved one lives with lupus, you’ll understand the silent emotional toll it takes. This blog explores how lupus affects your mental and emotional wellbeing — in ways not often visible to others.
🎥 Introduction
Hi, I’m Priyashni, and today I want to open up about a deeply personal chapter in my lupus journey — how lupus robbed me of emotional and mental wellness for years before I found the courage to seek help.
I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) in 2007 at the age of 21. At the time, only a handful of close family members knew. I chose to hide it, bury the pain, and “perform normal” — but inside, I was falling apart.
🌀 The Silent Struggle of an Invisible Illness
😔 I Didn’t Look Sick, But I Was
- I wasn’t bedridden.
- I could still work — but not without struggle.
- I didn’t look or sound sick — but I felt sick most of the time.
🧠 Mixed Emotions: Denial, Fear, Guilt
In the beginning, I didn’t even understand what I was suffering from. I was in denial — and then came fear:
- Fear of becoming a burden 💼
- Fear of not being able to marry or have children 👶
- Fear of financial instability 💰
- Fear of being judged or not believed 🙅♀️
Then came guilt and shame:
- Guilt for missing events or staying home
- Guilt for feeling helpless
- Self-hate… to the point I felt I didn’t even deserve happiness
🎭 Wearing Two Faces: Public vs Private
At work, I was a:
- Strong, independent, high-achieving woman. 👩💼
At home, I was:
- Suffering in silence 😓
- Emotionally unstable 😢
- Feeling worthless and completely alone
I distanced myself from my loved ones, even my parents — afraid they would worry too much or wouldn’t understand.
🥄 Spoon Theory: Limited Energy Each Day
The Spoon Theory explains how lupus limits both physical and mental energy:
- A good day? I get 10 spoons. 🥄
- A bad day? Maybe 6.
- Once I use them up at work, I have nothing left for myself or others.
Sadly, most people don’t see this side of us.
💔 When Loved Ones Hurt the Most
Through lupus support groups, I’ve seen a recurring heartbreak:
👉 Sometimes the emotional pain caused by loved ones is greater than the illness itself.
Common painful experiences lupus warriors face:
- Being accused of faking illness
- Judged for “not looking sick enough”
- Shamed for resting or missing social events
- Hearing whispers, gossip, or even cruel wishes from family members
🧠 These emotional blows are devastating, especially when you’re already drained.
❤️ My Parents Were My Rock
While many suffer in silence, I’m one of the lucky ones. My mum and dad stood by me every step of the way. Their understanding and support gave me the strength to keep going — even when I felt like giving up.
🙏 Thank you, Mum and Dad!
💡 Raising Awareness is Key
Lupus has no cure, but the mental and emotional trauma can be reduced — with:
- Awareness 🌍
- Compassion 💛
- Support 🫂
That’s why I created Lupus Comforts — to share my journey and help others feel less alone.
📌 Final Thoughts
- Lupus may not be visible — but it affects everything.
- Don’t judge what you don’t understand.
- If you know someone with lupus, offer support — even a kind word can mean the world.
📺 Watch, Learn & Share
🔔 Subscribe to my Lupus Comforts YouTube Channel for more real-life stories, tips, and awareness videos.
📢 Please share this post with your friends and family — it could help someone understand what their loved one is silently going through.